Kurt's Diary
by loquaciouslauryn
Summary: Kurt is sent off to go help Wes with his attempts at studying for French when he leaves his World History notebook behind with Blaine. When Blaine opens it to get the notes he forgot about in the subject, he finds out the contents of the notebook are in no way related to World History. ONESHOT! KLAINE!


A/N: So I came up with this as I was dozing off for a nap this afternoon; since school is out, I have more time to think about important things….. like fanfiction. (: So yay for that! I hope you enjoy this!

**NOTE: In this, the Gap Attack! Never happened and Kurt never told Blaine that he liked him. **

Blaine's POV

I walked up to Kurt who was sitting in the Junior commons; Wes had asked me to get him for French help. He was scribbling lazily in a notebook when I approached him

"Hey Kurt!" I said, cheerfully. I did enjoy being around Kurt. He looked up at me, surprised, and smiled, his cheeks blushing. I always thought Kurt was cute when he blushed

"O-oh hey Blaine! What's up?" He asked casually, closing his notebook

"Well, not much with me, but Wes is freaking out. He's trying to study for his French final and I think he's having a panic attack in his dorm room. He actually sent me to find you so you could help him, if you didn't mind." I said, laughing at my memories of Wes freaking out in my room

"Ahh, poor Wesley. If he paid attention in class all semester, he would be fine. Too busy with David. But yeah, I'll go up and see him. Wanna get coffee when I'm done?" Kurt asked, slightly cocking his head in a flirtatious manner. _Was Kurt flirting with me?_

"Yeah that would be great! I'll be down here; text me when you are finished, we'll go to the Lima Bean." I said, smiling. I loved getting coffee with Kurt; a drama free friend who I just got along with so well

"Alright! I look forward to it." He said, smiling and walking off. He was already out the door when I released he had left his notebook here. I picked it up off of the chair he had just been sitting on, and looked at the cover. _World History_ it said. OH CRAP! I forgot we a last minute quiz on that. I figured Kurt wouldn't mind me looking at his notes.

I opened the cover to the first page, but what I saw was definitely not anything on the Aztecs or China.

_ Dear Diary,_

_ I honest to God can't believe I'm doing this. I vowed to myself I would never get a diary, but I couldn't ignore it anymore. I have to tell SOMETHING how I feel, and I mean Cedes or Rachel just won't get it. And they're too caught up in their own business to be concerned about me. But hopefully I won't have to use you for long, Diary. Because I just met someone amazing today. He calls himself Blaine Anderson. Puck told me to go spy on Dalton today, and I was so angry, I decided I might, and I did. I'm sure as hell glad I did, because I got to meet this Blaine Anderson guy. My first impression was that despite his huge eyebrows, he was the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. I guess he's the lead singer of the Warblers too, because he took me to one of their performance and OH. MY. GAGA. Can that boy sing. I thought I was a good singer; but no. This guy is amazing. He sand "Teenage Dream" and I could swear he was looking at me the whole time. Like he was singing to me. But I shook it off, you know, because I have a thing for falling in love with straight guys. But wait, it gets better. He and two other warblers didn't beat me up for spying; THEY BOUGHT ME COFFEE. When I asked them if they were gay, they all laughed not at me, but with me. Blaine said he was gay, but the other two named had girlfriends. So not only did this guy just sing like he was God, but he was good looking, supportive, and GAY. Hear that diary, he's GAY. That means me, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, has a miniscule shot with this man. He's going to drive me crazy. But WAIT. It gets so much better. Like the stupid ass I am, I began to cry and I told him everything about Karofsky, the Neanderthal who feels the need to ruin my life. He said he totally understands because he was bullied out of his old school, and HE GAVE ME HIS NUMBER. A GORGEOUS, TALENTED, G.A.Y., BOY gave me his number. This has to be the best day of my life. Well, I need to go now, because I'm now all of a sudden going to get coffee with this Blaine Anderson. YAY!_

_ Xoxo, Kurt Hummel_

Wh…What? This was Kurt's diary? He thinks I'm cute? HE THINKS I'M CUTE? My best friend who I might have feelings for think's I'm cute? No, I shouldn't be reading Kurt's diary. That's just not right. But… what if Kurt DOES have feelings for me? It'll haunt me if I don't continue. I flipped through a couple of pages. It was dated near Christmas time

_Dear Diary,_

_ I thought the day that I met Blaine was the best day of my life…. But it really does get better. I think today is the new best day of my life. I was sitting in the Junior common room, studying about Charlemagne when all of a sudden, cute, handsome, dapper, gorgeous, best friend Blaine walks into the room and asks me to sing a duet with him.(This is why the front of this diary now is World History, see how clever I am?) Of course, I complied. I would do pretty much anything for Blaine. He had his little boom box in his hand, and the accompaniment for Baby It's Cold Outside started to play, and our voices were perfect together. PERFECT. He playfully chased me around the room, and we flirted throughout the whole song. At one point, his face was so close to mine.. and he just smelt so good and looked so beautiful that it took all my strength to NOT stop singing and kiss him right on the lips there. I think it was that moment that I realized that I was in love with my best friend. And now that we are so deep in the friend zone, I unfortunately concluded that we will probably never be together. But I guess having a friendship with Blaine is better than not having any type of a relationship at all. And that's all that were ever going to be. And it really hurts, because he's so gorgeous and being around him makes me feel so…. Good. I have never felt this good around someone before. And what's even worse is that when I flirt, he flirts back and he doesn't even notice he's doing it. And I love it when he flirts back, but it hurts because it doesn't even mean anything because all he sees me as is a friend. But still, flirting and singing with Blaine tonight was the most fun I've had in a really long time, and I long for the day when we get to do it again. *Sigh*, being in love is awesome, but sometimes it sucks._

_ Xoxo, Kurt Hummel_

My mouth was wide open. Kurt basically just admitted he was in love with me, and he doesn't think I like him back. He doesn't think when I flirt with him that it's real. He's been pushed around and brought down so much in his life time, he can even believe that someone might actually like him back. That's not fair. Because what if I do like him back? I knew I shouldn't be reading through Kurt's diary, but I had to. I had to keep going. I flipped through a few more pages

_Dear Diary,_

_ Well, today is Valentine's Day. And just like every single other Valentine's day, this one sucked. And I think this one sucked more than all the rest, because I thought that maybe Blaine would make a move on Valentine's Day. I have myself believing that all of this flirting could be real, and I was convinced something would happen when Blaine told me that Valentine's Day was the day to "lay it all on the line." But nope. He did nothing. Which basically confirms my love for my best friend is unrequited. You think this being the third time it wouldn't hurt so bad, but Diary, it sure as hell does. It just gets worse; especially this time because I actually had a tiny bit of a shot with Blaine. And he's gay, and I love him, and he's my best friend. So this is my advice to you Diary; never fall in love. WHY AM I EVEN WRITING LIKE THIS, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A LIVING THING. YOU CAN'T FALL IN LOVE. LUCKY BASTARD. _

_ Xoxo, Kurt Hummel_

I mentally face palmed myself. I was going to sing to Kurt on Valentine's Day, and I chickened out I figured he didn't like me. I figured it would ruin our friendship. And he wanted me to do it. And I didn't. So now his hearts hurting because he's in love with me and I couldn't see it because…. AHH. Oh no… I remember what happened after Valentine's Day.

_ Dear Diary,_

_ Remember when I said that Valentine's Day sucked? Well, it just got worse. I was stupid enough to take Blaine to a New Direction's party, and he got drunk, and he made out with Rachel. WITH RACHEL. And then Rachel, still drunk, asks him out on a date AND HE SAID YES. And then Blaine thought he might be bi and we got in a fight and he left me. As soon as he left, I felt terrible. I felt awful about what I said to Blaine, and how I made him feel. But I couldn't help it! I'm in love with him, and he's about to go out with Rachel Barry, the girl who got EVERYTHING over me. And when I met Blaine, I thought he'd be the one thing she wouldn't get, because he was GAY. But guess what? Guess that's out of the picture. She got to kiss him, and is now going on a date with him, something I haven't even done yet. And watch, he'll turn out to be bi, and he'll date her and then yet again, I'll lose to Rachel Barry. And what makes it all worse, is that he's mad at me because I was stupid and got all defense and jealous. I don't even know why; I don't have a shot with him anyway. Maybe it's just because it's Rachel. Regardless, I should've been there for him; not have been a total bitch. He is my friend. And apparently now, that's all I'll ever be to him. LOVE SUCKS._

_ Xoxo, Kurt Hummel_

Some of the words were tough to read, because Kurt's penmanship was smudged. I ran my finger over the smudges, feeling the weird, lumpy texture of them. I instantly knew that these were dried tears. Kurt had been crying about me while he was writing this diary entry. He was jealous that Rachel had a shot with me and he felt he didn't. I don't even know why I agreed to go out with Rachel; I knew I was gay. Maybe I was just trying to find myself. But when she finally kissed me sober, it was gross. Not that I would admit it to anyone else, but I when she kissed me, I couldn't help but think that I wished it was Kurt, not her. I loved Kurt, and I went out with a girl, and ended up breaking his heart again. I opened up to the page that he had been writing in minutes before I walked into the room

_Dear Diary,_

_ I'm really glad I made up with Blaine; I missed having him to talk to. We never really talked about the fight I guess, he just kind of said I'm sorry and that he knows he's gay and I said I was sorry too. He then took me out for coffee and bought me lunch. You know, we go out together all the time, and they're not exactly dates, but… I don't even know. I don't know what they are. I'll just call them non-dates. So we went on a non-date, and we talked over everything we hadn't talked about over the course of two days. I didn't realize how much I missed having Blaine in my life the past couple of days; I don't know how I managed to get by without him. And yeah, maybe I've cried my tears for him, but I do love him. And no matter what happens to us, I always will. He's a great listener, he's beautiful, and so sweet. And even if I can't have a relationship with him (boohoo ) I'll have gained one of the best friendships I have ever known. But it think it'll be hard to maintain a friendship if I'm in love with h… gotta go. Blaine's coming. I'll continue later._

And there the entry stopped; that must have been when I walked in the room and approached Kurt. He still loves me. Right now, Kurt Hummel is in love with me. That's why he blushed when I approached him. Kurt Hummel is in love with me. And I'm in love with Kurt Hummel. I flipped to the next page, which was blank. I pulled out my blue ben and began to write.

_** Dear Kurt,**_

_** You went to go help Wes study for French, and you left your notebook in the Junior Commons rooms. It said World History on the front, and then I remembered we had a last minute quiz on Monday for it, so I opened the book to look at your notes, figuring you wouldn't mind since we share notes all the time. But when I opened to the first page, It was a letter and I quickly came to the realization that this was your diary. And Kurt, I shouldn't have read it. But you were talking about me, and I couldn't resist.**_

_** Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, "oh! There you are! I've been looking for you forever." And that's the first thing I ever thought when I saw you. I WAS singing Teenage Dream to you. When you thought we were flirting, I thought you KNEW I was flirting back. And I WAS going to sing to you on Valentine's Day, but I figured you would've told me you liked me on Valentine's Day, and when you didn't, I figured I was just a friend to you, and I chickened out. Kurt, I've known since the day I met you that I loved you. I LOVE YOU, Kurt. So when you read this, go to the place you know is ours. Our little place. I'll be waiting for you there.**_

_** Love, Blaine**_

I closed the notebook, and set it on my lap. I felt my phone buzz and took it out; it was a text from Kurt

_ Hey, You ready for coffee? – Kurt_

**Kurt, I'm so sorry, something serious just came up. I can't go :(. But you left your notebook down in the commons, so I'll meet you at the main staircase, give you your notebook and I'll be on my way. – Blaine**

_Oh, okay, I hope everything's alright, see you in a min. – Kurt_

I ran to the staircase to see Kurt walking down from the top. I met him half way, approximately where we had first met.

"Here's your notebook." I said handing it to him

I watched Kurt blush furiously; I assumed he realized what notebook he left with me in the commons

"O-oh thanks Blaine. I was studying for History before you came; I'd be screwed for the quiz on Monday." He said casually.

"I know, I saw the cover and was like, oh crap! Well, I gotta go. I'll see you later, Kurt." I said, running off in the other direction. I watched Kurt walk back up the stairs with his back to me, opening the notebook. I felt butterflies of excitement in my stomach as I watched him stop ¾ of the way to the top. He had found the entry. And I ran.

I ran faster than I knew I could ran; the rush of adrenaline through my body carried me. Right now, in this very moment, Kurt Hummel, my best friend who was in love with me, was reading that I loved him back. And I was going to the place only we knew.

I got to my little tree; I called it my thinking tree. I showed it to Kurt when he transferred to Dalton because I used it as my place to think and I thought that he would be able to use it too. I sat down at the base of the tree, lying myself propped up against the tree. I hugged my knees as I still felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I knew Kurt was in love with me, but he could still reject me. And what if he did? What would I do then? This would screw everything up between us, and just like Kurt said, if I couldn't have a relationship, I had to have a friendship. And if we were both in love with each other, we couldn't just be friends.

"B-Blaine?" I heard. I froze. It was Kurt. Kurt had read it, and he had come to the place that only we knew. I looked up at him, to see him smiling. His smile could light up a dark room; it was that beautiful. He slowly crouched down on the ground , his shoulder against mine. I shivered at the contact.

"I got your entry." He said quietly

My stomach fluttered; he knew I loved him.

"Kurt, I know I shouldn't have read your diary but I saw my name and.."

"Shhhhh." He cooed, placing his finger to his lips.

"I love you." He said. Three words, eight letters. Three words and eight letters that changed my life.

"I love you too." I said

I let go of my knees and let them straighten out on the ground. I turned my head comfortably to face Kurt. I looked to his lips, and he looked at mine, and together we slowly closed the gap between us.

I felt the warm summer breeze blowing around us as we kissed. It was all I could feel besides Kurt's lips on mine. I was lost in him; he was lost in me. I felt his lips dislodge from mine, but his forehead was resting on me. I felt his eyelashes flutter on my cheek bones and his hair blowing in the early summer breeze as he whispered on my lips.

"You take my breath away." He whispered, obviously something that was meant for only my ears.

"I love you" I whispered back, replacing my lips on the soft, plush lips of Kurt's. I could taste him; vanilla, coffee, and something that could only be described as Kurt. And it was my new favorite thing. He pulled away, resting his forehead back on mine

"So how about that coffee?" He asked. I opened my eyes to see his already open. I was lost in the blue of them; they were the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

"It's a date." I answered with a smile.

"It's about time!" He answered with a giggle, as he pulled away from me and stood up. He held out his hand for me to grab, and I took it as he helped me off the ground. Except for the first time, I didn't let go. I laced my fingers in between his as we walked off to go on our very first… date.


End file.
